By Doug Brush, CACII

In the midst of a devastating opioid addiction crisis in our nation, alcohol abuse is quietly and subtly on the rise. According to a new study published in JAMA Psychiatry, occurrences of Alcohol Use Disorder rose by 49 percent between 2000 and 2010. A shocking one in eight American adults in the United States currently meets the criteria for Alcohol Use Disorder – one in eight of your coworkers, neighbors, or family members. That’s 12.7 percent of the adult population, and the increase is even higher in women, minorities, and older age groups.

Alcohol Use Disorder is affecting our society, our workplaces, and our healthcare system. It is crucial to recognize the sheer volume of this problem and how we can move forward.

The clinical staff here at MARR has seen this shift taking place for the past three years. In 2014, opioids surpassed alcohol as our program’s leading drug of choice. However, in the past two years, admissions at MARR’s Men’s Recovery Center (MRC) has reflected this change: in 2015, 40 percent of admits were due to Opioid Use Disorder and 38 percent were attributed to Alcohol Use Disorder. Conversely, in 2016, alcohol-related admits rose to 51 percent while opioid-related admits declined to 29 percent.

Not only are more people drinking, they are also drinking more. Earlier, heavier, and more chronic use of alcohol leads to more complications, and individuals who enter treatment are more medically compromised than ever before. At MARR, we are seeing clients with earlier onset liver disease, Cirrhosis, Pancreatis, and esophageal issues.

We have also seen increased episodes of binge drinking, early onset of dependence and progression of Alcohol Use Disorder, and an increasing number of college students entering treatment. As substance abuse continues to increase, alcohol abuse has become more normalized, making it harder to identify and accept as a major issue.

What do all of these statistics really mean for men and women who are suffering from Alcohol Use Disorder? Percentages will continue to change, but at MARR, we recognize that there are crucial aspects of treatment that have stood the test of time. This is about more than numbers, it is about changing lives for the better. We will not be satisfied with just identifying the problem – we want to move forward and provide a solution.

Recovery will always require three things: willingness, acceptance, and time. That’s why MARR is committed to proven, long-term treatment that works.

For over 42 years, the staff here at MARR has worked with clients to treat Alcohol Use Disorder. Our clients commit to remain here for a minimum of 90 days. This is the foundation of our program because we realize that it takes time to heal the physical, emotional, and spiritual wounds that are inflicted by addiction.

We also believe that the path to acceptance is best walked within the context of a supportive community. Within gender-specific treatment facilities, men and women are challenged to enter into vulnerable relationships with others as they begin to face their addiction.

One of the most powerful ways to engage in recovery is sharing your story. Community provides a safe place where clients can begin to verbalize and express feelings and emotions that have been buried. MARR’s Therapeutic Community is the agent of change that fosters trust, accountability, safety, acceptance, and hope for those in treatment. It is in community where we begin to combat the feelings of guilt and shame that so often accompany the disease of addiction.

In 2015 and 2016, 84% of men and 61% of women who came to MARR with a primary diagnosis of alcohol use disorder successfully completed 90 days of treatment. We will continue to strive to improve completion rates at MARR and acknowledge new patterns and changes, while also holding true to the values that have carried us to where we are today.

With an unwavering commitment to our core values and mission of bringing total and lasting recovery to addicted individuals, MARR continues to be prepared to meet the challenges of providing hope and healing for men and women and to their families.

 

Reference:

Schuckit, Marc, A. 2017 Remarkable Increases in Alcohol Use Disorders.  JAMA Psychiatry, 74(9):869-870. doi:10.1001/jamapsychiatry.2017.1981

In this article, we talk a great deal about the importance of the community in the MARR programs. And for good reason. We view the community as a microcosm of the real world, the world our clients will eventually return to as they grow into their sobriety. The same problems that someone has in the world at large are present in the treatment setting. This provides an opportunity for clients to learn about themselves and practice new ways to interact with others.

The Community Construct

Although our female clients are exposed to a great deal of therapy, individual and group sessions, and psychoeducation in the daily programming of MARR, it is in the context of the community that true and lasting change occurs.

The community is not just a handful of people living together. They are individuals committed to recovery and one another. When women come into treatment they have often been very isolated in their active addiction. Some women may not have lived with other women in many, many years, or ever before in their lives. The disease of addiction thrives in isolation and takes over one’s mind, thoughts, and soul. The community is a major impetus for ending the isolation and combating the disease.

Women and Conflict

Our society has undergone a great deal of social change in recent decades; however, women are socialized to deal with conflict differently than men. Through many kinds of messages throughout their lives, women are often taught to be more compliant, agreeable, and conflict-avoidant. Women are taught to put others needs before their own, whether that be their children’s needs, spouse’s, friend’s, etc. When coupled with the shame and guilt that the disease of addiction brings, this often leads to entering treatment never feeling truly “heard” and not having the skills to advocate for one’s self. To compensate for this lack of voice, they may learn a host of maladaptive communication skills or manipulative behaviors in order to survive their addiction to get their needs met. Women coming into treatment often struggle with healthy boundaries and assertive communication skills.

As our community is working together to accomplish everyday tasks, new behaviors are being learned. And as to be expected, conflict between clients often erupts. Just as in a marriage when two people fight over the toothpaste when the real problem is actually something deeper, these conflicts can often crop up over seemingly trivial issues. A huge benefit of the community model is the ability of one woman to look at another and see the deeper issue, to be able to know her hidden pain. Many of our clients have walked similar roads, and they all have an understanding of what we carry through our lives as women; therefore, when one is reduced to tears over the “toothpaste,” another can intuitively recognize what is truly happening beneath the surface.

Although uncomfortable in the moment, we see these confrontations and conflicts as learning opportunities. Clients practice the new behaviors they learn in treatment in this safe, structured environment. At MARR, we attempt to empower these women to advocate for themselves and each other and teach ways of openly communicating their own needs. In the community where honesty and healthy assertiveness are your new survival tools, old behaviors no longer work. Clients get to see in real time that these new skills are effective. At MARR, we teach and model new communication and conflict-resolution skills. It takes time and practice to gain the courage to confront the truth and communicate effectively, but it is less scary to try within the safety of a trusting community. Through their daily activities and interactions, these women learn the skills they need to continue their life in sobriety after MARR.

By Robert Day, MA, LAPC
Primary Counselor, MARR Addiction Treatment Centers

When we consider the impact of social media on our lives, we know that men, particularly millennials, are not immune to the advantages, and extreme disadvantages offered by modern technology. The on-demand availability of social media plays well into the negative attributes of an addiction. The carefully crafted photos remain alive online, even when a man is lying on the floor after a three-day bender.

At MARR, our initial exposure to the importance of electronics in a man’s life becomes evident shortly after he enters our program. All clients are required to relinquish their computers, phones, tablets, etc. while in treatment. At first, this may seem somewhat innocuous, but in a fairly short period of time, the impact becomes clear, primarily in the area of basic communication.

Often, our young male clients struggle to sit down and have a normal conversation–eye to eye, face to face–with another human being. Because they have lived in a texting, tweeting, snapchatting and instagramming world, they often do not have the skills required to converse. These are individuals who rarely “talk” on their phones. During their time with us, effective, healthy verbal interaction is not something they relearn–it is often a skill they acquire for the very first time.[/vc_column_text][divider line_type=”No Line” custom_height=”20″][vc_column_text]Interestingly, just as these men use drugs and/or alcohol as a method to escape, so do they use their phones. Many realize in no time at all, that when the going gets tough, the tough start patting their pockets for their phones. For years, they have unwittingly used their devices to avoid personal conflict or any discomfort associated with the present. With the touch of a few buttons, they are in the alternate world of the internet, wherever they choose to relocate their focus, and most importantly somewhere else.

The concept of community, the importance of entering into honest, authentic relationships with others, is intrinsic to the MARR philosophy. Clients live, learn, and grow together. Because they cannot default to the artificial and selectively curated online world, they are forced to deal with adversity, challenging relationships, misunderstandings, and awkward situations—in other words…the stuff of life. They must enter into difficult, yet necessary, conversations. Although the moment might prove distressing, our clients ultimately discover that resolution can be attained by remaining in the present and embracing vulnerable moments that require intentional communication and connection.

Perhaps the most deleterious aspect regarding social media is a man’s perception of himself. Many of our clients in their 20s and 30s lack awareness of who they genuinely are. Like so many, they ubiquitously post content designed to reflect their popularity and how extraordinarily positive their lives are—parties, sports activities, exciting events. Much of the content they share is experiential in nature, showcasing “how great it is to be me!” On some level, these young men know this is superficial and fraudulent; and yet, their entire perception of themselves, their concept of self, is inextricably linked to “likes” and “retweets.”

Not surprisingly, the end result is that relationships with friends, even family members, are not predicated on mutual caring and connection; instead, they are hollow and meaningless. While in active addiction, relationships often become transactional, boiling down to “what do I need to do or say to get what I want from you”. If social media presence is based on perceived status and superficiality, then it is rare for “followers” and “friends” to see things as they actually are. Instead of being honest about entering a 90-day treatment program, some men elect to just fall off the grid. Sadly, their absence often goes unnoticed.

Technology and electronic devices are not inherently wrong or bad. However, we want all MARR clients to examine the role that cell phones, the Internet and social media plays in their individual lives. If over-involvement leads to isolation, negative self-esteem, fraudulent communication, and dishonesty, then it may be time to reconsider actions and behaviors. Our desire is for people to enter recovery first and foremost, then construct a life of meaning, authenticity, and abundance.

My Gratitude List

Hello to my Family at MARR. Mother’s day this year was a special time in my recovery and I wanted to express my gratitude to ALL the staff there that helped me regain my life in 2004 and that have supported me and my family since.

As I stated, I entered MARR in July of 2004 at a time when I believed all hope was lost. That my addiction had in fact destroyed everything good God had attempted to put in my life. I found myself isolated from my parents and siblings but most devastating was the fact that this disease had totally jeopardized my relationship with my children. I had truly become a puppet and addiction controlled the strings.

Through the programming at MARR but most importantly the genuine love and care of the staff, I was able to reconnect with a glimmer of hope. With MARR’s guidance I entered into a relationship with the 12 steps and a great sponsor which reconnected me with a radiant God of love and compassion. This combination placed me in a position of neutrality and has empowered me to live as a Son to my wonderful parents, a brother to my two supportive sisters, a husband to my amazing wife, a father to my three beautiful children and as a friend to many. For this I will be forever grateful.

What made this Mother’s day special and brought me to the point of writing this is the opportunity I had to be with my entire family and celebrate my mother, my wife and my daughter’s first mother’s day. We also celebrated my beautiful Granddaughter’s 5th month in this world.  So now in 2017 I add to the Gratitude list, Grandfather. I am Pops, Grandfather to the most amazingly beautiful little girl you have ever seen. God is good, all the time!

Thank you for being there when I/we needed you. For opening your lives so I might regain mine. So we might regain ours. Could this have happened without MARR?  I don’t know the answer to that. However, I am forever grateful for the fact it happened with MARR.  Much love family…

God can and will if sought!

Thank you, and God Bless.

-BR

How I Found Gratitude

My name is Heather W. and I’m a recovering addict. Before coming to Right Side Up (RSU) my life was being destroyed by my addiction. I only cared about my next high. I had no concern for my amazing boys, Wyatt and Kayden. All they wanted was my love and attention but all I could do was put their life in danger. My Aunt raised me to be a God fearing young woman and that is all she asked of me. Instead I chose to break her heart and steal her piece of mind.

On November 21, 2016 my family and I had had enough.  I lost Kayden to DFACS and I was denied visitation with my 4-year old, Wyatt due to my addiction. So I decided it was time to come to RSU. It was the best decision I ever made. I knew these people were about saving lives as soon as I walked through the door. My counselor encouraged me to dig deeper into my childhood and my past. She helped me address a lot of core issues. The Therapeutic Child Care Coordinator helped me begin to bond with Kayden through brief visits and educated me on setting boundaries with Wyatt and his anger issues.

The counselors helped me to learn to love myself again by empowering me with positive affirmations and spiritual principles. RSU not only provided me with supportive counselors and a beautiful apartment, they also taught me how to be independent not co-dependent. I had not worked in five years and I secured a job when I was six months pregnant with my third child. I have both of my children now and I will return home from the hospital with my baby.

RSU is the best blessing that God could have sent to me. Thank you for raising me all over again to be a strong, sober, courageous, loving mother, daughter and true friend.

-HW

Attitude of Gratitude

For better than 25 years of my life, sobriety was not a word in my vocabulary and was so far from my reach that I saw it as an impossibility.  Alcohol had such a firm grasp on my life that I could not ever imagine being without some form of mind or mood altering substance.

I grew up in a very small town in eastern Kentucky.  There were no skateboard parks or movie theaters to occupy your spare time.  There were only cars, drugs and booze.  If alcoholism existed in your family like it was in mine, you were destined to follow in its footsteps. Consequences of my abuse happened infrequently in the beginning, but as the years went by, they drew closer.  Unfortunately, the denial of my addiction was so strong that I was blind to them. My relationships all crumbled and jobs slipped through my fingers.  But I just could not see it.  It was always “their fault”.

I tried outsmarting my disease by attending several colleges, meriting one degree after another.  I thought I could hide my disease behind diplomas.  Maybe if people looked up to me they wouldn’t see my awful hidden secret.  I tried changing my address many times.  But, no matter where I went, there I was.

In January 2010 I gave up and was admitted to MARR.  I kicked and screamed for almost the entire 90 days.  I broke every rule and should have been dismissed, but MARR was able to see something in me that I could not and let me continue.  Maybe MARR knows that great changes are preceded by chaos.  By working with my sponsor, doing my steps and living in a therapeutic community, I was able to grow spiritually and bring God back into my life. I lived at MARR for almost two years, but due to the gratitude I have toward their program which gave me my life back, I will never totally leave and will continue to give back.  I am still recovering one day at a time.

-ES

Gratitude is a Gift

Thanks to MARR and my 12-Step recovery network, I now live with an “attitude of gratitude” in sobriety.   Along with hope, gratitude is a gift earned through individual surrender to a life based on spiritual principles.  It is key to sobriety. Once a person surrenders to these principles, these gifts come without too much undue struggle.

My life before coming to MARR was hellish; I lived without hope or gratitude. I knew I was an alcoholic, but I was paralyzed by fear and shame.  On average, I was drinking two bottles of wine per day; sometimes more. That is well over 700 bottles per year!  My relationships with my two daughters and with family members had become almost non-existent.  My days played out in monotonous, terrible sadness: I dragged myself to work, then dragged myself home to sit for hours in front of meaningless TV shows, a slave to alcohol. I had serious legal and financial problems, and my spiritual life was in shambles.  I was alone.  At the end, I was drinking ‘round the clock.

After two attempts at outpatient treatment, several hospitalizations, and an intervention from my daughters, I came to MARR in April of 2013.  I needed the round-the-clock structure and accountability that MARR provides, in order to surrender to a new way of life in 12-Step based on humility, discipline and service.  Living in the therapeutic community was often challenging, but the challenges lead to personal growth.

Spending my entire first year of sobriety at MARR allowed me to build a solid foundation for a new life based on creative possibility.  Life presents challenges in sobriety, but I have new tools to face them and a host of new, sober friends.  I never have to feel alone.  Now in my fifth year of sobriety, I will forever remain grateful to MARR!

-JK